Things just didnt turn out like wad i expected. Thought after joinning strings le my sight rate can get better and that i can go back to PA, nt feeling i'm a nobody. But well, today went back, kana scolded wif ppl looking at why i cant play. WA! Cant take it. Conductor scolded me also lol, next practice wana hear me play the most difficult piece out. That's the dai jia i have to pay for joinning payco. It's never that easy to stay in the orchestra esp for some1 like me hAha. And because i cant play mon have to go back practise lol, hope everything will turn out well. I wish i could somehow shine a little bit too. Sigh. Went back for the first time den kana so many scoldings. Worse thing is when president told me: "See! Small kids(pri sch kids) like them also practise until so much better than u liao." den another girl say:" pls don say till we're nt as good as him, we're always better." LOL. WA LORD i'm so disappointed now la. Sian diao. Sigh. Hope everything will go on well from tml. Cello cello cello!!! Gives me so many troubLES! HA.

Before going to church, had my breakfast n there goes the illness again. Face swell. I feel so burdened, it's like i'm carrying a time bomb which may just triggered anytime. Dono when it will swell again and i wonder wad will i do if same thing occur when school reopen. Really worried bout this. Went to see doctor but the doctor wasnt able to give me a firmed ans and he just merely gave me the medicine for swelling. He wasnt able to tell wad really is the prob but just said it may be a blockage inside. He asked me to drink more water but after so long le, this illness just comes back again. Wana go see other doctor again but there goes my mum, saying it's useless etc. How long do i have to stand this illness. Sigh. Somemore recently, i kept feeling like hmm suan suan de gan jue on the part that swell. Hope everything will end soon.

Woke up early in the morning to reach church by 8.30am. Waited for the other 2 performer w/o knowing the choir is actually already inside the music room. I think until now the xu mu si niang still dono i was early ba. Haha. Felt so weird? Was punctual but because i stayed at the main hall waiting so no1 knows i was there. Lol. Well this time round is the only performance whereby we didnt have any rehearsal or combined practice and i just perform straight on the stage. Thank God everything went off smoothly :)
While waiting for the other 2, i saw one of my senior who's also call jie ying. Haha. SO surprised to see my ex schoolmate in the same service as i. Feel so happy. Supposingly there's another ex schoolmate in this church but he's at the english service. Today den i know she actually came a few times for the service le. Hope she will stay in this church :)

Ytd went downtown wif norman to take a look at crumpler bags but i cant decide on the colour i want so i didnt buy. Hmm i had a good chat wif norman hAha. Anyway christmas's just around the corner le. Haha. My favourite festival! :) Well hope santa gives me wad i wan hAha.

Last week while chatting wif the "Pentagon of Trust", some were saying I can think so positively. Well regarding this i really dono wad to say. If I don do this, i guess i would have gone crazy by now. Too many things kept inside my mind. Haha. Tml de camp is already a burden to me le. To go or not? To think that I dono majority of the orchestra members and that this camp they will be focusing on the practice for the upcoming concert in esplanade, i really dono if it's ok if i don go. Performing in the esplanade is a really good opportunity for me, it could be just once in a life time. I'm really troubled with this. The concert will be held near to my final year exam. GOD HELP ME!!!! ARHX!!!

Went to see my church member for the last day. Felt like i should reach out to her daughter. Wonder if i'm too kapo or wad. Feel sad for her. Well, i pray tht god will bless her n grant her strength n wisdom in wadeva she do. Just feel like reaching out to ppl in need, of course that would be if i'm in the mood, away from schoolwork stress etc and tht i'm free. Well well, recently i just feel tht some ppl in my church is mentally n spiritually weak nw. Hmm. Sigh. Hope all this will end soon.
Well well had a good chat wif william till 11pm ++, well feel better wif ppl knowing hw i feel. And after hearing some of our church members going to study medical courses after NS from william, i felt like i'm motivated to study hard to do my best n get into NTU or NUS and get into a good course also. Hmm tml have to go school again n chiong project den afternoon got violin practice again. Whole day packed liao. Still deciding if i should go for music camp this fri. Sigh sigh!! Somehow, i just feel happy to be in BPMC.

Typed a whole chunk of words and explorer just suddenly hang n have to re type nw. Lol. Well bAck fR0m aLpHa cAmP lE. G0t to kN0w s0 mAnY cHuRch mEmBers aNd g0t s0 mUcH cl0sEr to tHem dUrIng tHe cAmP. EvEn thOse wH0m i sEld0m tAlKed to dE, cHaRmaIne, aPpr0aChEd mE n aSkEd mE t0 "t0Ng xIaO" wItH tHeM dUriNg tHe lAst dAy 0f cAmP. I cAn rEally fEel thE b0nD tHeRe lE. ReAlly lUv tHiS aS it gAvE me l0tS of cHaNCe t0 inTeRacT wiTh my cHuRcH mEmBers eSp "Winter" hAha. ThIs cAmP iS rEallY bEnEfIcIal aNd i eNj0Yed bEiNg iN tHiS cAmp. My gRp mEmBErs wEre rEally fUn n fRiEndLy t00. But wEll, i'm liKe a littLe sIck n0w, lUcKilY i'm bAcK h0Me n0w to rEjUvEnAte mY hEaLtH hAha. Well i gUess tHr0uGh tHis cAmP, i fInAllY knoW wHeRe i bEl0Ng hAha. N0w bAck fRom cAmp mEaNs pR0jEct agAin. StResS sUre c0Mes n g0 dE sIa. ReAlly tIrEd n0w, gUesS i jUst hAve t0 g0 rEst le bA.

Seems like i going crazy soon. Already so stressed up with my proj and test le now come a new prob. Face turned swollen all of a sudden again and had to skipped BF lecture n Bizca test. I was so worried and scared, dono hw to face ppl wif tht swollen face. My mum didnt wan me to go see the doctor cause she it must be last time when i was biten by something n the poison is still inside. But cause i didnt go n see the doctor, while going school today, i was dam worried it will swell again. Due to me missing the test, that PCB wan me to skip my BF tutorial class tml just to take the test n my BF lecturer say if i were to skip i wont be able to catch up cause he will be revising wif us wad will come out on mon. I dono wad to do, been calling PCB from ytd but he's never sitting in his office wonder wad's his extension no. for. He demand an MC from me n here i m w/o any mc. Sigh. Dam troubled. Memorise the ITL already memorise like hell liao now come this prob again. My BF is my weakest module how can i skip the lesson wif such reason sia.
Just hope some1 out there will tell me, "i understand how u feel" aww how sweet can it be. WIf some more sweet sweet words HahA! Think too much liao.

Skipped lessons today and stayed at home to study. It was indeed a wise choice. Haha.. Feel more relieved after studying ITL and think i may have time to go gym wif andy later but the thought of business finance makes me sick. As long as i think of BF, i feel worried n down again. Dono y, maybe it's because it's the only module wif no tips, no hints and somemore nth to revise on except the textbook. Past year paper also no solutions den tutorial teacher only go through, didnt write down ans for me to refer again so i can say it's the worse thing i ever met wif. Really dono wad to do. Hope God will find me a solution soon so i will no longer be stress n worried bout it but happy. It's gonna be tough this 2 weeks wif so many project to finish n test to study. I hope my grp n i can finish our ITL project soon. Dragged too long already.

"God is always by side guiding u along ur path, he knows and understand hw u're feeling every moment and he is sharing ur burden also w/o u knowing" It's so nice to know this sentence. Sure will calm me down. Well recently dam stress with work, think of project liao den stress again n frustrated wif 1 of my teammate but when i talk to him on phone i feel normal again. Guess i'm too soft hearted. Sian. Too soft hearted nt good uh... Well well this week got 4 tests coming up n next week common test le, meaning i have to face business finance. It would be a really big challenge for me. May god guide me.

Same things always happen to me on friday. Usually ppl should be happy on fri, last day of school for the week whereas for my case, i'm like having my weakest module, business finance, as my last lesson of the day. Everytime after this lesson i will feel so dam stress and sad. Dono why. I just don understand this module at all. Solutions given by ppl are ask lecturer, get notes from frenz, ask ur frenz etc. So today i tried asking the teacher, so lucky that he also wana revise wif us for our test and allow us to ask him qn. Although i took the opportunity to ask him budden i still don understand at all. Tried to get tutorials ans from senior who lent me her notes last sem. She didnt wana lend it to me this time round so i guess i have used up all my options. I guess the only choice now is to force myself to understand this module wif god's help. I just feel so helpless wif this module esp when i have no accounting background. Well i hope everything will turns out fine in the end and also i don wana feel so stress but i just cant control it.
Gotten back my ComToolkit first test back le, dam disappointing, the lecturer said i can only gotten a C, even after moderation i wont be able to get even a C+. This sure is a big blow to me afterall i aimed to score well for IS this sem cause last sem it was one of my module and IS that pulls me down. Thoughts just kept running through my mind. If only i can just lead a carefree life.

Was supposed to go gym with andy today but he was busy with his project and i'm also too. So in the end i stayed at home to finish my body part of my project. Luckily janice released us earlier so that i can go home earlier and complete that dam tedious ITL project. Although i'm relieved to finish the most tedious part of my ITL project budden thinking of the number of projects i still have, around 5 more if i'm nt wrong, i felt so stress. This sem is really tough, no time to even take a break. I wonder hw long i can keep up with my exercises programmes with some of my friends. Still got music part to focus. Too many commitments. Suffocating already. Well hope i can somehow relax myself. Guess is partly because of the results i wish to get makes me so stress.

First time skipping my cello lesson. It must means i have have something really impt to do tht cause to actually skip such impt lesson to me also. This is my first time having project or hw for all seven modules. Haha. Buy TOTO also not so lucky lo. Feeling honoured??? HAha. Ytd n this morning went to play basketball, hoping i can cut off more of my calories and FATS! Today many ppl ps us. A few didnt come, those that turn up was me, xiong, Leong and ben low. It was fun though, and i got to exercise again eh but ben sprained his ankle n i hurt my finger. Sure is painful, can feel the pain when i play my cello. Haha. Tml got appointment wif kah poh for jogging and mon another appointment with andy for gyming. Thank u lord for giving me so many chances this few days to exercise. I guess now i just have to cut down on my diet. Well well looking forward to meeting andy also. Long time nvr seen him le.
I wonder how m i going to finish this whole chunks of works. Hmm it will takes quite some time. Xiong wana play pool later so hmm nt sure if i can go though. Dam busy but i need to rest a while also.

Finally, i get to start doing my 2 projects le. Last week didnt have the time. For business finance i tried asking some1 but she didnt wana teach me though. lol But thanks to my teammate teck HENG who tried to teach me patiently although i took a very long time to understand. And also for ITL, thanks to simon who is so cooperative and willing to spend more time trying to do the project together. I guess i should be happy to group with both of them for the 2 module.

Got to know another girl from lmgt who actually top the 3 module i find the hardest to understand. Awesome isnt it? Glad i gotten some notes but lol cause i think my knowledge for the particular module arent that deep yet so i cant understand. Lol. She's busy also so i a bit ps to trouble her also. Well well just have to study on my own ba.

Anywhere i wonder who this rough guy is. Threaten me huh. I guess i been through one already. No point being scare bout it afterall i'm surrounded by friends who would stand up for me. Well this guy sure gets on my nerve. Haha

Same thing. Distraction here and there. How i wish i can just change a class with all friends that willing to work hard n play only at the right time. Had business finance lesson today, instead of learning something, i feel so stressed wif it. Looking at hw the others r able to attempt the tutorial qn while i cant, i dono wad to do. Asked some of them but they said they just anyhow did it, dono hw to do also. Lol. Well for now business finance sure's a headache for me.

Tml will be a long day for me also. Early in the morning got dental appointment-FOC, cool right? Then go straight to school for violin follow by cello lesson. Sure can relax myself a bit but thinking of the amt of work that needs to be done. STRESS again. Lolx. I guess maybe it's because i wana score well for exam so i feel so stress when i cant get something on my head.

Stress stress n stress!!! It's so dam irritating. This weekends got dam lots of homework to do. Starting doing businessCA n econs but couldnt do anything. Felt so stress nw. Whenever i cant do my hw, i just cant help blaming myself for being so bloody stupid to be distracted n go n play games during lessons. It's too hard to study under so many distractions. It's true gaming is fun but nt during lesson! I hope NERDS can just surround me. Study study n STUDY!!!! SiGh...

WooHOO!!! My musical recording for X' mas finally ended this morning. Next week must focus on my studies liao. Haha. Yesterday night i went over to jian fan's studio at Methodist School of Music. My first time playing cello in a studio. Dam cool sia. N guo fa drove me home after that. Haha. I made it just in time for my anime. Haha.

After concert hui yun said she wana take pic wif th n i. Haha. Took 3 pic in total cause brandon said it wasnt nicely taken. Haha. Seems like my spec reflects upon the camera flash. Looks cool huh silvery spec. Haha.

Concert just finished. Haha. Finally!!! Dont need to coordinate liao. HAHA!!! The concert went off quite smoothly n the last part was so touching sia, maybe to us the members of NPS. My frenz was saying the last part was too draggy. Haha. A new boy band is appearing in NPS soon. The "7788" HAHA! The next T'ang Quartet. 2 cellist n 3 violinist. I feel a sense of belonging to the NPS n cant bear to quit haha. Well, at least nw i got a place to chill off wif my good frenz at the club house. Haha!
Thinking of school works n happening. I would only say a "bad" haha. This sem de module quite alot must memorise sia. Nt easy. I hate memorising. Well in any case, i hope i can stay away from temptation of playing games in class. Haha. But eh even i listen, i'm still easily distracted by gamers around me. Haha. Jia lak sia. Well well above is a pic taken after my first concert wif the NPS. HAHA.

Concert's this sat. Sure is fast. Not easy to coordinate the ppl also. Looking at the back stage ppl, i finally understand why ppl always say they admire the back stage hero. Their jobs r even tougher. I think the only that stress me is i play the violin den coordiante the ppl for next song follow by playing the cello den coordiante n coordinate. A bit rush for me. Anyway hope i will recover from my illness b4 sat.

Today de IS class was terrible. I chose to join a grp wif all girls. Then the other guys just sat there so in the end they form 2 grps among themselves den i'm like the only guy wif the girls. Dam awkward. Maybe i think too much but well, i just don wish to see ppl talking behind me cause i'm the only guy. Lol. But well, last sem de IS i grp wif guys so nw wif girls. Let see if my points for IS will be better this sem or nt.

Dam tired! Finally back from camp. Looking back at the camp hmm something good is i know more ppl from the same cca as me liao. Got my own clique liao. Haha. Sha, TH, lionel n horace. Da jia hao, wo men shi "5566" HAHA. The rehearsal on sat, was a real time disaster for me. No time to coordinate at all. Well, just hope everything will turn out much more easier n better during the next rehearsal.

Passed by bpmc when i went home but didnt alight cause i was too tired. The moment i finish bathing, the next thing i realised is i'm already sleeping haha. Too tired to even move. Btw, feel proud i get actually play the violin during the concert. Haha. Finally, it has started........

Tml camp le. Hmm hope it will be fun. Staying at home also nth to do. Tried to chiong all those musical recording de songs le. Some pieces sounds weird when i play it wif the song going on. Den have to change this n tht. HAHA. Tedious work. Still have blank here n there cause i don really know how to write out the score. But something good is i'm more familiarise with musical notes nw. Haha.

Thinking back of sunday. Having sherry to actually drive me home from church. Haha. So cool. Seriously i can really feel the love that each n every bro n sis in christ have for each other. So warm. It would really be troublesome to travel back home by bus wif this big guy - cello. Well well tml camp i need to bring the big guy all the way to sch again cause sunday need to use it again. Haha. But well at least nw there's some1 who understand hw troublesome it is to bring this big guy out. Haha.

A stressful n tired day hAha. Thanks to v^3 (vian, na, von) and gab for coming over to help me out for the upcoming church de musical recording thing. It sure is tough for me at first due to my weak sight reading. Thanks to them i was able to at least learn one piece today. Guess it's more than enough. The left over pieces, min le will be helping me out in writing out a proper cello score. Feel so bad to trouble her but at the moment when i receive the scores, everything went blank, dono wad to do. Better nt talk bout those scores le, for nw it will only makes me feel more stress.

Recently or should i say since last time, i was always having mood swing. Wonder why, although i didnt really show it out but when my mood swing, i will feel so tired. Sometimes i kinda feel that accepting others just like hw god accept us is really important. But it seems this isnt an easy task. It's about testing ur patience i suppose, to be able to stand wad ppl say bout u. Well well well i think the best thing is still the CHR motto - Pray & Work!

People once said u have only one time in your life so why not just relax and enjoy to the fullest. However for me, it seems nt to be the case. Too many worries. How to get rid of it? Lolx.
Need to slim down, study well n get into uni, get into SAF music and drama, where should my family move our house, find a job that suits me so that i can earn money and not rot at home during holiday. So much worries.

Yesterday night i just prayed, hoping i can find a job maybe this ending soon de holiday or my next long holiday. Today my frenz just called me asking me if i wan to work wif him. Just for 3 days. Somehow it's better than nth but it just seems so funny to just work for that 2 days (can only make it for 2 days nia). N cause it's just so sudden, i had already planned my schedule also so decided not to work. I'm just so weird, just the way i think. When i finally gotten that something i want, i decided to let it go. It just seems so stupid. Well i hope god will grant me wisdom so that i can at least know wad i truely want.

Yesterday morning went to play basketball wif samuel, elson, teck meng, kah poh and isaac. No 1 there so we're able to play w/o distraction. It was really fun to gather together again. Sadly some of them starts school on next mon liao. After the game kah poh, samuel n i went to buy some games. I kind of regretted buying one of the games cause it seems like it's nt wad i wanted. Haha. In any case, it sure is nice to have some new games finally. Come to think of it, there's still some games my friend gave me which i haven play yet. Lol.

Woke up at 10am today n had to rush to bpmc for fellowing? Gathering i think. Only gina CHAN, vina, honey n i were present. The others went missing. Had a nice chat n i went over to sch for my cca n also lunch wif lionel. Brought one of the sch cello back. It was in a hard cover so it was so dam heavy. Had to carry all the way home. It sure is very troublesome but i guess it should be worthy. Haha.

Went to bugis with aileen, jian ming, v^2 and zhong ying. Seems like the "teens zone" in bugis junction already "dao bi" le. GG!!! Lol. There's only 2 shops selling clothes which is within my budget and my style of clothes - Samuel&Kelvin n IP Zone. Eh i bought only 1 T shirt nia from IP zone whereas jian ming bought 4 or 5 T shirts sia. Haha! I was thinking it's best if i can get myself at least 2 or more clothes but majority gtg.

On my way back wif aileen n jian ming, they decided to acc me to buy some more clothes. Thanks to them i gotten myself another t shirts lol. It was a really tiring day. Jian ming n i like kinda cant walk liao cause leg too tired. Haha. Girls sure rule at shopping lol. Oh ya ys last min got work so cant come. Sad sia den forgot to ask guo qiang along somemore. Haha. B4 i forgot, i remember vian told me she'll look out more clothes for me sia. Hmm.. haha. That's poly life man. Troubled about wad clothes to wear to school. Something good bout jc, don need to care so much sia, compulsory to wear the same uni as everyone. LOL.

So long nvr blog liao. Feel so lazy blogging. Haha. Btw this picture is the 1735 rush hour camp at Kota Tinggi. Didnt regret going there. Know more ppl now. Haha. Taking private cello lessons de plan cancelled le due to financial prob but thanks god at least now i gotten 3 new cello books for me to practise n study first b4 the time comes for me to take the lesson. Well, hope to spend the holiday efficiently by playing games, practising cello and lastly train my body. Gotta do something wif it afterall my fig is wad always bother me most. Haha.

Back from the bible camp. Really glad to once again see those sp cf bro n sis in christ again. Hmm i had a hard time trying to understand n digest wad is being taught n it seems like i failed. Somemore i leader n had to depend on the team members w/o contributing. It was kinda stress of cos but it was indeed definitely fun to get to play n chat with them. Haha. Kept falling sick during the camp also so was sleepy n tired during the lesson so i couldnt really concentrate.

Something i cannot deny is LOL, i actually was able to fig out who my angel is. Haha. So obvious. Haha. Well end of this camp would also meant the 2 weeks my dad need is up also. From wad i see now, it's impossible for him to actually agree to let me take up private cello lesson but well, i will keep that in my prayers.

My skins started to peel already also. Even my head!!! Dam disgusting. If u see it u will vomit. But heng today recover liao. Phew! Nw i return home also sian. Wif my mum here always nagging at me, asking me to find a job, sometimes i really cant stands her. Wonder how long will my patience lasts.

Went for the chinese service today, saw vivian sitting alone at the side of the church hall or something waiting for her turn to play the piano. Then after church went to cwp to have my lunch wif my family den went to woodgrove to buy a chicken lol. Dono y woodgrove here suddenly got this mini "pasamalam" my mum n i went to take a look. I guess i was lucky, my first time seeing a cello music album n i purchased it, it's by yo-yo ma. Listening to the cd now, yo-yo ma is indeed amazing. His cello pieces sure you gan dong dao wo de xin.

Oh ya, btw just discovered that my head also kana sun burn LOL! When i comb my hair i can feel the pain also. Hope i can recover by tml morning when i go for the camp. Thinking of the camp again, hmm... makes me worried. Lead my seniors? That's nt an easy job for me definitely, had been a leader since sec sch but nvr a leader to lead my seniors, the most is ppl of my age. So this time round, it's indeed a big challenge for me. I believe gold has his purpose for me, just have to obey. Btw, one more week to go b4 my dad come into a decision to whether he can afford my private cello lesson. My goal may seem so much easier to achieve if this plan goes on. Was so eager to take up private lesson last month but recently it seems like i'm getting more restless. Dono y.

Left house towards sentosa at 7.15am today. Haha! It's my first class outing this yr. Everything turned out very well. It did not rain which we expected it to happen but the weather was dam hot that almost all of us got sun burnt. I didnt feel the pain when i left sentosa so thought i was ok. Eh but seems like i'm wrong! Haha. I got sunburn on my arm, back n face. Haha. It sure hurts alot esp my back. Anyway it was really fun today, having to play my first volleyball game n follow by my favourite basketball.

Scenery is indeed nice, erHEM, yea haha. After we had our last game of captain's ball in the sea, we proceeded to vivo to hav our dinner n went home. Haha. THis outing is indeed not just fun but i think it's important also. Seems like we have to go for outing in order to know more bout each other n to bond together as one. Next mon will be my bible camp liao. Dono y, suppose to be looking forward to the camp de but this time round, dono y but don have the feelings. Hope everything turns out well for the camp.

This week's my exam week. Sure is tired n stress studying for exams but somehw next week seems to have lots of activities awaiting. Doesnt seems so bored anymore. While studying today i thought of next fri. Teacher's Day celebration, whereby we the ex students will go back to our sec sch. Was looking forward to this day de but suddenly some1 caught my mind again. It's that girl! Few weeks ago i felt extremely frustrated but nw, i felt so worried. Wonder why. To wad do i deserved of having this unknown girl doing this to me? Thinking of her spoils my mood. Wad can i do? Some say ignore her but does it really helps? Guess not. I cant imagine wad i will do the next time she does that again. One tight slap n get myself into trouble? Happen to know she's actually my sis in christ n here she is doing this to me. God! Forgive her! Sigh...

This matter sure is enough of spoiling my mood for days n nw cause i use detergent to wash my mouth n it's too reactive, my mouth seems to hav this marks due to the spilling of the skin. One reddish patch over at my face just beside my mouth. To know that i care so much bout my appearance, instead of getting better, here i m having this kind of prob.... Today sure is one tough and stressful day for me!!!

It seems that after my bro got into the army, our relationship became somehw very close. Praise the lord for tht. I guess this is the only period of time whereby i actually talk so much to my bro also. Haha. Really glad that we are so much closer nw.

This few days it seems like god is letting me see my own wrong mistakes by having ppl do something unplesant which i gt to know. It seems that i must really reflect on my actions and words use. Today i went to library to study wif charmaine. Just my luck, i saw that girl again, as usual, very rude towards me. I dono hw to describe wad she did in front of me but it seems that this whole day i'm just so PISSed off that i feel like KILLING her again. Nt like i really know her or something, nvr talk to her b4 but dono y she's just so rude to me. How i wish she could just disappear in front of me. To think that she once said i'm as dark as a charcoal in front of me, it's like this is getting on my nerve. She definitely reached my limit, no doubt about that. But i believe sometimes i also judge ppl like hw she did. Now den i feel hw it is. Thank god for that but i hope i can at the same time cool down. If i see her again, i dono wad i would do.

Just finished my EIS test n that means EIS module is finally over. Well it went kinda ok ok only. I cant remember wad i have studied n this time round, i don even know r my ans answering the question. Haha. Well some of my frenz told me they didnt studied but they're able to write a whole chunks of words. Haha. I guess they're really talented in studying. Haha.

As usual, went for strings essemble today, six quitted but today 2 more joined in. It seem so little to have only 3 ppl in the cello section but wif the 2 new ppl, it seems like we're almost full le. Some cello spoilt so we will be short of cello if too many ppl comes in unless we can get the new cello before the school starts again. Next tue will be my last PWA test. I hope this time round i can prove myself i can really do it. It's an open book test so yea, i just gotten score for it. Haha. With god's help that is. Haha. The following week will be exam week le. Gotten buck up n chiong. At least i wont regret for nt working hard if i cant reach my target. Haha. God will make a way for me.

Been quite some time since i blogged. Exams r just around the corner now n tests keep coming out. Just got my business statistics test and i'm really happy bout it. I actually struggled wif this chap - probabilty, at first but it turns out i got an A. It was really god's grace. Praise the lord! Haha. I always thought of going to the uni but it seems that it will only pressure myself so i decided nt to think of going into the uni. Just enjoy myself as much as i can n of cos, do study for test n exam. Haha.

Harry potter movie just came out nt long ago n i wanted to go see it but just couldnt find a suitable day to do it. Mon to fri got sch. Sat got cca n sun got church. It seems tht my schedules are fully packed. Well don really have much time for leisure cause exams n tests are coming. I failed my open book java test n nw the sch decided to give us another test which is closed book. I really cant imagine wad will happen n for my EIS test, i only just passed my MCQ test n nw a written essay test is coming so i really cant imagine wad will happen. Both my weakest module tests are coming out in a more difficult format for me.

Just had my s&w badminton tournament today. It went off really well at first until i met wif the former school team badminton player. I kana trash like hell, so i had to fight for the third place. This time round i met up wif also another former school team player, also very strong. It was a close game though and i lost. But this time round, i lost wif pride n i don feel disappointed at all losing to a good player like him. I got my rank "forth" in the class. It was better than nth. Haha. Was really very nervous during every match, heart beat go faster n faster during every match.

It seems to me like time's running out, having this n that project then test also. Yesterday de business statistics went on quite well. Wasnt as hard as i thought. However, tml de Eis test is the one i'm more worried. Got little knowledge for that module n tml de is a written essay test. So far our test for that module is mcq de so i just hope for the best.

Left woodlands church of christ for quite some time already. Yesterday when i on my way for dinner, i saw dean n john. It was kind of surprise to me, dono wad to say, didnt know that they came to sgp already. I dono wad to say when i see them, out of words. Felt kinda sad when they told me they have been trying to contact me through the phone but gotten the other church members gave them teh wrong no. So after the dinner i went straight back to the church building to have a nice chat wif my 2 old pal and of course, our favourite "Cut throat". Haha!!!

Anyway it was really amazing. Just the day before they're going to leave sgp n i met them. God's will huh. They have been here for 44 days n yet i didnt know that. It was a really disappointing matter. But well, it's better than nth. At least i got to see my old texas pal before they leave sgp. Praise the Lord!!! Seems like a very disappointing but yet touching story isnt it haha.

School reopen liao. It would means i need to face my java module again. Well still kinda worried about this module cause looking at hw others are progressing at a much faster pace made me worried hw i would progress. The current two things that i really wana do is to excel in studies so that it would no longer be a burden to me n to slim down n get fit. Currently i think the only two module giving me a really big headache is enterprise resource planning n java ba.

Well i just told my mum that i need to have my hair cut tml and her reply was so negative. I usually cut my hair in a months time but she should already have known but every month when i wana cut my hair she will like give me a "black face". Why cant my parents just understand me. Here i m already going to the cheapest salon to have my hair cut at only 8 bucks whereas others is like 10 and above. And the comments she gave is like "U don even look like u had ur hair cut" whenever i came back from a salon. I'm already in poly, cant i even have the freedom to do wad i wan??? This is really getting on my nerve.. sigh.

Hey hey hey!!! Today's HIGHTLIGHT, if any1 who wish to listen to PA youth co de recent concert de music which december 06 de concert, pls go to imeem.com and search for payco. Go to the first post by anne, music no. 2 to 12 is our concert music. Btw the pai gu is played by campus superstar mei gui wor, haha. Although no video but got sound la... haha. Very nice wor.

Hmm i went over to look at my friendster today, hmm... dono why only JC ppl attracted my attention so it's like i think most of my friends went to jc??? I nt sure. Jc and Poly, which is really better leh. No one knows unless we have a debate to fight for each type of education. Does going Jc gain more fame than going to poly? It seems so. Although by this year, there are many students who can actually go to jc chose to go for poly instead, even single pointer ppl chose to go for poly but it seems like going to jc is still the "big thing" among ppl nowadays. Hmm... poly is indeed getting better as time goes by. I think partly is becasue of my church also ba. Kind of find that majority are from jc or graduated from jc de. Top jc somemore. Lolx. Dono why sometimes this matter just affect my mood also. Dono hw to explain, it's just so weird.

Holidays ending soon!!! Seriously i don look forward to returning to school, rather stay at home and rot. Ha! Went to west mall with vian, na and the rich guy william. Lolx. Hmm we went to a chinese restaurant to have our lunch follow by 2 games of pool and lastly movie. The whole outing was really interesting and fun. Haha. N also thanks to william who treated us to lunch and swensen ice cream, haha!

Seriously i think i'm getting heavier this holiday and desperately finding ppl to play badminton with but couldnt find any and the holiday is ending soon. Kinda disappionted. Have been spending most of my time in church this holiday and also got to know more bro n sis in christ, haha which is a really good thing for me. I hope i can soon save enough money to buy myself a cheap cheap er hu and a music tuner. Lost my first tuner during my first pa concert and my mum refused to buy one one so have to use my own money. Haha. Hmm well i hope maybe a few years down the road maybe i can have a new cello too, haha. My current cello has been wif me since ending of sec 1 i guess or beginning of sec 2. Quite long le. Last time my bro de piano kept changing de cause that time our finiancial status was kinda good but nt anymore. Haha. Cant imagine myself keep replacing my cello one by one. Haha.

William arhx william arhx relax la. I busy ma somemore no chance to use the net. Just came back from CG17 retreat today. Well i should say it was much more better than i thought. Did get to know more church members which i think it's a really great thing for me. Super tired now. To think that tml i need to be in church by 8am, that's like too early for me, need to leave home at seven plus.

I actually thought of having our own church basketball team and during the first day of the camp, Norman brought up this issue. It was quite a coincidence. He mentioned "Ah Bong" asked him if he wants or not. But well, i guess now with me n 2 of my friends, we will have enough players for the team but nt sure if it will really be set up or nt. Also through this camp i actually got to know a little bit more about some of the church members. Dono why but somehow i agreed with hui ting that being in church is really great and i guess it became my "hobby" too. Haha.

Went to church today. Very quiet, lol. Wonder if it's because i too long nvr go chinese side le so nw find it very boring to go there. It's still so much better wif gab von vian n NANA lol sitting beside me. Actually i don like to leave church that fast de. I wan more fellowship wif church members. haha. But today my grp nt here sia so went home straight den nw nth to do, listening to my concert songs. Lol!

Btw i went back to payco today, lol. Very guai, didnt ran off. Hmm... i saw a little cellist boy who played cello since pri sch holding on to a score which i find it very hard. I asked him "wa u wad grade arhx?" n he replied "need grade to play de meh?".... if it was u wad would u think? lol!? But but but i think i improved a little bit le sia. lol thks to the church for asking me to play last min songs so nw my sight read got a slight improvement. A good thing to me. Haha

Just gotten back my PWA test, flunked like shit. I just cant accept the fact i failed. I really admired those who failed and could stil smile n play. If only i can be so positive. Since sec sch i always wanted to be the best but just nvr once gotten the first or something.

Everybody have something that they have to leave behind, there's no use looking back, so i guess i just have to look straight. Just couldnt forget the fact that i failed my test. Even if i pass the re-test, my marks will only be 50. Sigh. When i was seeking help from others, they told me they dono and stuffs like tht or i didnt study for it, in the end they actually got very high marks. It just show how those friends i know are. Some even shouted out "walau! i got only 79!". WTF!!! Cant stand this kind of ppl. And also watching myself always scoring lower than others, it just demoralise me. I want to be the best so that i can help others as well, i know ppl just wont help me esp classmates or seniors. THat's the reason why i wana top so that i can help ppl like the current me. Here i m already feeling very down le n there, i will be having a test again later. I just hope i can achieve the results i want. I don wish to see my GPA lower than most of my classmates. Since young i'm always the middle or sometimes even worse the last few. Nver once had i been one of the top. Although after failing so many times, i know the feeling of failing and how disappointing one would feel, but still as always, i cant accept the fact. Why i'm always nth compared to other ppl. Sigh...

I usually play the cello for one day and have to rest for one or two days cause of my fingers. Fingers kinda hurt since yesterday when playing the violin n today had to practise cello in the morning somemore. Brought my cello all the way to PA and because my cello cover de handle too rough le it makes my palm hurts even more, become reddish liao. Lol.

I was the first to reach there today and helped to open the room. Have already packed all that i wana bring to pa de stuffs le but when i reached there. Wad i only did was going through the 2 church's score with my teacher once and he went to teach his private student in another room liao. When zhi yu n diana came, they said they actually wanan leave before the orchestra starts and i dono why, i just followed, very eagered to go home also but on my way back the chairman n my teacher called me. I didnt dare to pick up. Lol. I feel so bad n guilty now. Sigh... maybe i should have stayed there but cause there was less than ten ppl so i didnt dare to stay also. Oh man oh man, just cant forget it. How can i actually don pick up my teacher de call. WA!!!! Stress!!! Can someone just tell me wad to do. Lol. This is the consequences of running away from payco. Lol!

This week, someone kept just getting on my nerves. Dono why i just don like him. ALWAYS wana be the leader, pinpointing ppl do this and tht, cant stand him. But from a diff point of view, wif him in a team, i can say we will sure be able to make our project in time for submission. I just don like him sia.

Went to study wif von n gab yesterday n gab asked me very weird qn when von wasnt around. Er HEM!!! IS something wrong out there??? LOL!!! Btw last sat was chosen as cello leader cause he said i played the best! Just when he said this, a girl walked in wif a cello, also 17 but she's already grade 6 or above i guess. There's just ths big gap btw 2 of us. Guess wad i can only do now is stay in strings hoping to improve and return to PA. By the time i really return to PA, i hope at least i can see some diff btw me n the others. My aim is to at least reach grade 5.

Was very frustrated wif wad happened in the night. Studying for my exam which will start in 2 weeks time n defragmenting my com but have to give up the com to my bro cause he wana uses it. I cant believe my mum actually stand up for him. I use the com a few times only in a week whereas he uses it daily. He uses it for watching anime n chatting n does this means this is better than me studying for exam???

This is so UNFAIR!!! I don wish to see results that's lower than the others. Just hope nth like this will happen again. Btw i don have any crushes nw hor, V3!!! V3 = vivian von n vina. It's getting closer to sun le. Hmm. hope everything will go on smoothly.

So long didnt blog liao. Haha. Since i last blog till now, i think my life really changed alot. Get to know more ppl from my church, and also a groups of sis in christ whom i feel very comfortable wif. Well yesterday i got to know a bro in christ who can really make those "ice cream" pie or something. A very funny guy indeed, he actually got my no. from one of the church mate and sms me saying he's one of my admirer. Lol that's so funny for a guy to do that. Haha. I went to have my dinner wif yvonne accompanying me. Hmm haha, praise the lord for finding someone to acc me to eat. I must intro all these new and great friends i knew in church to siu long and zong da. Haha. Btw i joined the NpStrings de cello n violin and part time chinese orchestra cellist. Haha. The strings cellist there are really great. They played cello for 2 to 3 years but i played for 5 years and their standard are much more higher. I cant believe it till i actually see it wif my own eyes. I guess i must really improve while in this strings and return to PA before the concert starts. I'm afterall inspired to be one great cellist. Haha. Something very disappointing is i quited learning piano when i was pri 4. I believe that's my greatest regret now.

Tml sch reopen le. This almost half a year de holiday sure passes realli fast. Many things did happen during this period of time but well, something i'm sure of, is that wadeva that had happened did make me change into someone better, someone who really look like a christian.

Tml will be the first day of the cca fiesta. Really dono wad to join. Joining more than 2 cca will only shorten my time at home as well as the time for studying. I intend to join the strings n CF but i wish to join a sport cca also. Really desperate to slim down that much but like wad some says, it requires motivation as well as determination. Did manage to reduce my weight by 3 to 4 kg but this few kg arent enough yet. What i really wan is nt changes in the weight but changes in the body. I really hates to see those fats in my body. I just hope i will choose my cca wisely b4 joining.

I just checked the time table just nw and found out that for this semester, my school ends at 4pm daily. Oh my, initially some days was suppose to end sch earlier but it seems that they changed the time table again. This is the third time they're making changes to the time table, dont even know if it's reliable or nt. Something which i may agree wif a frenz of mine is that when sch ends, u wont feel like going for ur cca cause u're already tired, u will just feel like going home. Hmm that's something to be taken note of.

I took the whole of march to slim down by 3kg. It was indeed a success but it seems that in terms of my body, there isnt any changes yet. After i came back from the cameron island n KL trip, my weight increases by 2.5kg. I was like HUH!!! wad the.. lol. It seems that tml will be an intensive tough day for me. It took me years just to slim down. What i really want is to become slimer and that no matter where i go ppl wont be saying i'm fat. It's indeed very diff, to be able to stay away from temptation indeed requires strong determination. Well, in any case wad i really want in life is to slim down i guess, i mean as a teen for now. Cameron island was quite a cooling place, the place there is nt as high tech but the scenery is really beautiful wif greenery surrounding u. The place is mostly famous for their strawberry as the climate is kinda cold there, they actually do grow lots of strawberries. And mind u, the shirts they sell there r 100% fake de. Haha. I went over to KL and the branded clothes they're selling, like billabong etc, in the shopping centre are like 100 to 300 rm. But i manage to get a simple design de FAKE billabong shirt at 15rm. KL is indeed nice. Btw the pc they're selling are nt as good as those sold in sgp. Majority of the pc de ram r like 512 only whereas in sgp is like minimum is 1GB. Haha. Sgp de pc is indeed cheaper n better.

Just came back from the FOC ( Freshman orientation camp ) for the poly de christian fellowship cca. The camp was indeed very much different from the normal camp i attended last time. To be able to share my views and thoughts with my own groups of ppl and to be able to hear others' views and thoughts was kinda interesting. On the first day of the camp i actually reached pasir ris mrt station but found no one. About after fifteen mins later a few of the members came but i didnt approach them as i knew no one. But through the camp i actually got the chance to talk to everyone and it was really cool. Haha. But well it was fun, there was even a rumour saying i fall in love with someone which was nt true at all, LOL! Due to this misconception i didnt dare to approach the girls. Don wana cause any misunderstanding. Haha. This camp indeed leave me wif a memorable exp and i believe i may join the camp again next year if god want me to go again. Haha. Tml i going cameron island and will be back on wed so i couldnt make it to the sec sch co de syf. Kinda sad. Desperately wana watch other schools performance. Haha!!

It's been some time le. Recently i just received many documents from ngee ann poly regarding this and camp. Kinda troubled by this camping stuff. Have this fear of camping since pri sch, thought i overcame it after i attended OBS but it seems that nth hav changed. haha. Yesterday one of my church members msg me asking me to attend the NP christian fellowship. Wonder why, the moment i received the msg, i wasnt worried or troubled at all but happy unlike the time when i received the letter from NP asking me to join their camp. I believe i would have a hard time getting to know my course as well as school de students since i'm nt participating the camp but i just hope it would be a wise choice. Sometimes knowing more ppl also mean trouble isnt it? Come to think of it, it's my 5th year cello-ing. I believe it's time to get warm up nw and get better. My initial intention was to join the NP strings to learn violin n co to learn er hu. Wonder if that's possible...

Sorry for having u guys out there to keep asking me to blog... lol. From nw on i only use the com once in a while cause i feel so bored coming online as i got nth to do. Have been playing my ps2 this few weeks as i hav just upgraded it. Got too many rpg games so did nt hav the time to come online also. Moreover my bro is like using the com whenever he's at home so i seldom hav the chance to use the com. Well, the o lvl results r out and of couse the results of mine just turned out so unexpectedly. Couldnt get into a jc so i guess god wanted me to go to a poly instead. Come to think of it, poly is actually better. It will be a new start for me as well as u ppl out there. God gave me ngee ann poly de logistics and i guess this is wad he thinks, suits me best so i hereby thank him. Thank you lord! haha. Np got too many cca n i intend to join sports cca to keep fit and slim down but it seems that the Np strings and co is attracting much of my attention also. Not sure wad awaits me ahead but i believe everything that i will be going through, is wad god wants me to do. No matter wad/who i face, god will be my strength and guidance.

Don really feel like blogging this few weeks, dono why. Maybe just don have the habit. Yesterday i went to andre's house wif kah poh and gabriel to play counter strike source. It was my sec time playing cs so was a real time noob. On my way home there was a uncle wearing FBT shorts wif a netball. From far i thought it was a young girl but when i walked passed, saw that it was actually a uncle. This was the JOKE of the day. I just sent my ps2 for upgrading and can only collect earliest by a weeks time. Wonder wad to do this few days. Jason asked if i wana go co tml but it's like no senior wana go back so i also dono if i wana go back. Still cant get over wif that "threatening" case. Good lesson for me though. Well just hope new games will be coming out for ps2 and nt just ps3. Two days ago i started to pick up guitar. Just kana interested in guitar and my mum wont let me have other music lessons anymore so i asked my uncle to teach me. Thought being able to play the cello would have already make my fingers numb in strumming the guitar strings but same thing occurred. My fingers' still pain after strumming and practising the fingering. Btw, i decided to go ngee ann poly and hope it's a wise choice.

Time passes very fast. Just when i realised, i'm already here waiting to get my result later. Wonder why i woke up so early today, couldnt sleep. I guess it could be because of the dream i had. I actually dream of getting 22 for my R5!!! wa!! Early in the morning when i went to find some CHRians at woodgrove and there received a msg from sch that only 60 got distinction for e maths n heard from audrey that 80% passed eng only. I wonder why, why couldnt our sch do better??? LORD HELP US!!!! I'm really afraid to see my r5 more than 16. ARHX!!! I don care if my e maths really cant get As but at least sci distinction n r5 16 or below. I just hope i could acheive this target. Three hours plus more to go. Wonder the others are feeling nw. No matter wad we scored, we still have to face. Actually i find that the most diff thing is nt to study n take the exam but to face the results. Sometimes results came out wif unexpected grades which we can/cannot accept. I hope no matter wad we get back, we'll still give thanks to the lord cause he will only give us wad we deserved.

Started off the day wif a crazy woman cursing me all around in the office early in the morning. This engineer whom i'm attached to, transferred her file from her thumbdrive into the com. She did this b4 i even came to the office so i didnt even know wad she did. However when i reached the office, she kept scolding this SI TECK YI, overwrite my FILE!!!! I was like... huh??? i didnt even do anything. I was on my way to the office when she transferred her file and hw the hell can i actually overwrite her file?? She must be seeing ghost den. So f up by her attitude. In the end gabriel found the file for her and she didnt even apologise to me and treated as if nth has happen but when she couldnt find it, she actually go around the office nagging non stop. First time i ever come across wif such crazy and irritating woman. Anyway, this few weeks, there hav been much rumors about when the results will be release. Just to inform u ppl, the MOE have not officially announce the release date so wad the others said arent true.

Busy working this month and didnt blog for a week already i think??? Need mei ting to remind to update my blog every now and then, lol! well well well... i went to sim lim square today wif gabriel during our lunch hour to check out some computer parts prices. It was a really convienent thing as our office is just situated in lavendar. We did check out some infor on PSP also. So those who intend to buy PSP pls read my blog. The cheapest psp there is $200 ONLY but is version 2.5 to 2.82. Other shops are selling $270 to $330. The version 1.5 de cheapest is $270 and other shops are selling it at $300 and above. There's one shop in front of sim lim square which is specialised in selling all gaming consoles. They even sell ps1 n there's many types of package for each types of consoles. They sell the latest version 3.03 which can play the latest DOWNLOAD GAME!!! Great deal as it's better than buying version 1.5 which can only play old games. The total cost is $419. Quite cheap le hor. For those who want to play downloaded game , pls do consider version 3.03!!! But if u have a older version also nvm. They can upgrade your version to be able to play latest downloaded game at only $40 so wad gabriel suggested is to buy the $270 PSP and then go over to the shop in front of sim lim square to upgrade ur psp so total u only spwnd $310 to get the latest psp. That's the ultimate plan.

Many things happened this few weeks. I would say even after i baptized, i did not behave or work like a christian. That's a really disappointing thing to say but after the "matter" that just happened last week, i believe it really changed my life. No longer that same person u use to know since last time. More upright i guess. Finally able to get hold of myself firmly thanks to GOD. Btw, my company just hired kah poh n teck meng. Andre told me immediately on that day which i on leave, saying the company only specifically want HIS frenz. Sometimes it really makes me wonder is andre actually up to something? Well i guess it was gabriel who introduce us to this job, it wouldnt be nice of andre to actually wana act like a leader among us. It will only cause more grudges. This job is getting tougher each day. Tml i still had an appointment wif gayathiri of former 4/5 at the library. She offered help in the JC1 maths n chem. It's really all thks to her that i can hav more faith so as to be able to cover up the first 3 months lessons.

Finally back from PA audition.... Huang sen told me if i intend to go ajc, just tell him n he will help me get through it. Well.... if i were to go ajc, i'm afraid i will be stressed to death. Haha. Heard from diana that the ppl there r really bookworms as wad the rumours said. Ppl there just study n study. No life at all. So i'm just having a headache to whether go some jc which my results can get me to or go ajc. Who knows i may just go poly instead but i really feel like going jc. Hope some1 can give me some advice. Anyway, passing the audition would means i'm officially a PA musicians. Haha. I may go mco when i'm free, ok jason n caiyun??? haha.

Building inspection project finally starts. I went to the seletar camp with the other engineers and was separated from gabriel n andre. It seems that i was attached to a very exp engineer n everything went on smoothly but nt for andre, gabriel n company. Did learn alot there n just felt as if the army ppl there should find it weird to see a young students there. haha. Time spent in the office sure passes very fast. Two hrs are still enough to finish 1 complete report but i still prefer to be in the office rather than going to the seletar camp which is so hot n uncomfortable. I even saw a snake during the inspection n the room of some of the army soldiers are filled wif hot n sexy bikini girls poster. HAHA. I believe nt going to MI or JC may be a good choice for me also. Working in this JPL consultant really allow me to gain alot of knowledge.

9 JAN 2007!!!!!! My birthday!!! Well.... due to my tight schedule- working and practising cello for upcoming audition, i did nt have enough time to celebrate my birthday. So disappointing. This time round the audition for YCO required us to play 2 songs whereas in the past only 1. I lost all my scores and nw had to find time to write out 2 of my songs.... composed my own music. haha. Anyway, i was attached to the most experienced engineer in my current job n due to that, we're given a tougher n heavier task to inspect the whole of seletar camp which is something to feel happy about as well as sad. Haha. I will have to start the actual work tml. It's like going to school. Waking up every morning at the usual time for school but this time round going all the way to lavendar to work. A very good experience indeed as i learnt a lot of new stuffs. Anyway, my birthday wish is to get fit n slim down, it seems to myself that i'm getting plumper which i'm really very worried about it.

Back from my grandpa's funeral. Received a call last wed night telling our family that my grandpa passed away peacefully. I was so shocked and couldnt really accept it. Had to take a leave and leave sgp on thurs night. I stayed over at the funeral to safeguard everything for 2 nights wif my cousin. On sat morning 10 am we sat off to burn my grandpa body( nt sure hw to say it but i believe u ppl get wad i meant). My cousins, family n i waiting for the ashes n proceeded to take a boat to the middle of the sea which took quite a long time. Along the way on the boat, many thoughts swifted through my mind. Couldnt resist myself n tears started to rolled down but thanks to the splashing of the sea water, it made me seems as if those wasnt my tears. None of us actually thought my grandpa would pass away so suddenly. Everything seems so unpredictable n unacceptable but it's just the fact. My last 2 gifts that my grandpa gave me was a tortoise and a chocolate bar. It would be my greatest treasure. Everything ended very smoothly n after i reached sgp today, i went to play basketball wif siu long.